Stepping Into My Own Power

A Symbol of my own growth and independence

I just gave back my car – the car that served me well over the last 4 years of being Mom’s Taxi. This was the very first car I chose all by myself (with input from my kids, of course). The car symbolized my stepping into my own power. The car was the first step into a long journey. It’s a car I still feel proud having chosen – the car that connected me to so many friendly people at the garage, and the car that felt almost like family.

I feel very melancholic today because I am giving this car back to the garage I bought it from. I am saying goodbye to the symbol of my freedom and to the people at the dealership.

Personal Symbols

Do you have anything that really reminds you of how far you have come?

Do you have any symbol that really represents who YOU are?

Is there anything you are really proud of?

My car was all of that to me. Yes, it is time to say good-bye to this era, too. I have grown since I bought the car, I am no longer Mom’s Taxi; I am more Caroline now.

The Story Of My Car

Let me share my story with you: the story about this car, the story where I came from and where I am now, 4 years later.

Four Years Ago

I was going through the jungle of a divorce. I did not know how to make ends meet. I hadn’t made any decisions myself for a long time. I was married for 20 years, and I had no power left. Actually, when the separation settled in, I didn’t even really know who I was.

I’d never had to get my own car, my ex always had cars, and we shared them. Later on, when we had kids, we had a family car, which I drove, and he had his car. I never minded which car I drove, as long as it was safe, family friendly, and useful. Yes, sometimes I would have loved to trade for a fun car, but family friendliness was the most important thing.

Exchanging Cars

At that time, I had a car that was still being leased and was just taking up too much money. Even a change of tires (which this car needed often) cost a fortune. I still had to pay for the gas/petrol I had to feed this car, service, insurance, etc. It all added up, and I knew I needed to get rid of that car.

Aside from the cost, I was happy to get rid of some of the relics of my married life. That car was a leftover and it was time for a change.

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Giving back that car brought out a lot of fear, as the sales person I leased it from was very bossy and overbearing. When I brought the car back to the garage, I was literally shaking in my boots.

I remember arriving there. And then – you know what – the guy was very friendly, unlike two years ago when he was very pushy because he wanted me to take the lease over from my ex.

I felt good. I felt proud, I was able to turn the car in all by myself, without someone holding my hand or speaking up for me. This was a first in a long series of new experiences.

First Time Alone

Four years ago, I also just came out of a nearly two-year relationship, and would have loved to have a man’s support still.

Going to look at cars all by myself felt very intimidating. Talking to sales people was weird. Luckily, I knew what I needed and wanted: a safe car, preferably 7 seats, so I could shuttle some extra kids, comfortable, and affordable.

I had about 3 types of cars I was interested in, so I went around to different dealers and looked at them. I also picked up some brochures while I was out looking.

Guidance

Back then I was guided to a specific dealership where I felt at home. The sales woman was very friendly, and (luckily) not pushy at all. I felt safe at that dealership, even though I was at a very vulnerable point. The car from that garage was lovely to drive and had some fun gadgets, which I loved.

I test-drove another car at a different place, and that sales person was very pushy. Somehow the car did not feel right, and the garage was out of the way. I thought about going there for service or tire changes… No, that was too much.

The third option wasn’t right, space-wise. The kids hardly had room in the 3rd row, so the car was a no-go.

Good Start

I went back for the first car and I felt so good choosing that car and going over details and payment options. The lady I worked with was very friendly and forthcoming and also understanding about my situation. I didn’t have a lot of money at the time, plus there were some legal matters we had to consider because my divorce wasn’t final yet.

My Symbol of my own power

A Christmas Present

I ordered the car, and it arrived right before Christmas. I was so happy! I loved it, the kids loved it, and we had a fun time.

Yes, I drove 110’000 Km in the last 4 years with that car, and yes, it served us so well.

The best thing of all was that every time I went to the dealership, the people were so friendly, and I so loved going there. The people there did not mind me asking questions that might have been silly, as I had no idea about cars. They were kind and knew me by name.

Saying Good-Bye

Now this era has come to an end.

I recently took my car back, and said good-bye to everyone at the garage, thanking them from the bottom of my heart.

The symbol of my growing independence, the symbol of my empowerment was not only in that car but also deep within me. I know I can do it. I know I don’t need a man to get a car or return a car. I can do it on my own.

I have grown so much.

I am so proud of the person I’ve grown into ever since my separation nearly 7 years ago.

I know I’ve come a long way since then.

And now, I have a little fun car – a Mini. I always wanted a Mini, but it was not convenient with three kids. Since they bring themselves to school now, I am free to be me. And yes, the car does seat four people, and we have fun riding together in it.

Time Changes Perspectives

My new car is a car for the four of us. Four years ago, I was still hoping my ex-boyfriend and his son would find a way back into our lives. Now, I only look after my three kids and myself. Does this car fit our lifestyle? YES!!

What can you do that is just for yourself? What would suit YOUR life? Where can you grow more into yourself?

Know it does take time. Be patient and proud of how far you have already come.